Children's Table at a Wedding: Should You Have One?

If you have more than a handful of children coming, sooner or later the question arrives: do you sit them all together, or keep them with their parents? Both work. This is a practical guide to deciding, and to setting up a children's table so it actually helps rather than causes chaos.

When a children's table works

A dedicated children's table tends to work well when:

• You have six or more children of roughly similar ages (around five to eleven is the sweet spot).
• The children know each other, or will happily mix.
• Parents want an hour to eat and talk without cutting up food.

At that age, kids often have more fun together than sitting through a long adult meal, and a table of their own gives them room to be children without anyone shushing them.

When to seat children with their families

Keep children with their parents when:

• They are very young (toddlers and babies who need a parent close by).
• There are only one or two children, who would feel isolated at a table alone.
• A child is anxious, has additional needs, or simply will not settle away from a parent.

There is no rule that says every child must be in the same place. A mix is completely normal: a children's table for the older ones, with the little ones staying with mum and dad.

The age split that causes trouble

The one combination worth avoiding is a wide age range on a single table. A four-year-old and an eleven-year-old want completely different things from an hour at a table, and the older ones end up either bored or acting as unpaid babysitters. If your children span that range, two smaller groups work far better than one table that suits nobody.

If you only have a couple of older children and a couple of toddlers, do not force a table at all. Seat each with their family and let the older ones find each other on the dance floor, which they will.

Setting it up so it works

If you go for a children's table, a few touches make a big difference:

• Position it near the parents' tables, not across the room, so a quick check-in is easy.
• Keep it away from the speakers and the top table so the noise runs in one direction.
• Consider activities: colouring sheets, a small activity pack, or a simple game keeps them busy between courses.
• Tell your caterer which table is the children's table and confirm the kids' menu and timing, so their food arrives first.
• If you are using place cards, let older children have their own; they love it.
• Avoid glassware and tall centrepieces on that table. Something will go over, and a low arrangement means it is a spill rather than a scene.

Timing matters more than seating

Children eat sooner than adults and finish sooner. If their food comes out with everyone else's, they will be done and restless well before the speeches start. Ask your caterer to serve the children's table first, and plan something for them during the speeches: an activity pack, a corner of the room, or a babysitter if you are providing one.

The complaint you are most likely to hear is not where the children sat. It is the forty minutes between the children finishing and the adults being free.

Counting children into the plan

For the arithmetic, count a high chair as a full adult seat, because it takes about the same space. Younger children on ordinary chairs take less room, so a table of eight children is not the same crush as a table of eight adults. That distinction matters when you are working out how many guests per table the room will take.

Confirm numbers late. Children are the guests most likely to change at the last minute, and a plan that assumed six will not survive four.

A note on teenagers

Teenagers are their own category. Most would be mortified at a children's table and are happier seated with the adults, or with cousins their own age. Treat them as young adults unless you know otherwise.

If you have several teenagers who know each other, a table of their own near the dance floor is usually the happiest answer. It is a children's table in structure and nothing like one in feel, which is exactly what they want.

Telling parents what to expect

Whatever you decide, say so in advance. Parents plan their day around it, and finding out at the door that their five-year-old is on a different table is a bad first minute of your reception. A line on the website or with the invitation is enough. It also gives anyone with a genuine reason to object the chance to say so early, when it is easy to change.

For the wider room, see our step-by-step guide to making a wedding seating plan, and for the grown-up end, wedding seating plan etiquette.

Plan it without the headache

Grouping the children, keeping the toddlers beside their parents, and making sure the children's table sits near the right families is exactly the kind of juggling a seating tool makes easy. In The Table Plan you can set a table as the children's table, use keep-together rules for siblings and keep-apart rules where you need them, and see the whole room at a glance. Start your plan, free for £149 once, no subscription.